


Bad Bath & Beyond

by EternalSailorNeptune_53



Series: Final Fantasy Versus XV [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIII, Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Banter, Bath Houses, Boys Being Boys, Except it's more in a bath house, Gen, Humor, Light being tired, Obligatory anime hot springs episode, R&R, Sauna, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-15
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-24 16:28:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22260943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EternalSailorNeptune_53/pseuds/EternalSailorNeptune_53
Summary: Takes place during: (around) Chapter 3: The Open WorldA rough hunt turns messy rather quickly, sending the quintet to the nearest hotel for a night of bathing and relaxing. While the others are more amicable, Noctis continues to refuse to have anything to do with Lightning on his own accord while she remains equally indifferent in spite of everyone's prodding.Unfortunately for either of them, the night is not their friend and has its own say on the matter.
Series: Final Fantasy Versus XV [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1600693
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Bad Bath & Beyond

**Author's Note:**

> Yaaay, more shenanigans with the Lucers~
> 
> For the sake of these stories, let's assume there's more hotels than just the ones you can access in XV because it's not too realistic to just have one whole-ass hotel in the entire region, now is it? And I don't go to P5 School, but this fic is based on that bath scene I remember the Phantom Thieves taking all together and Ryuji gossips with the player about Ann or something. That's all I know, don't @ me on this, folks. I'm just trying my best here writing some good ol' Final Fantasy since that's what I actually know TTwTT

No hunt in any sort of world was a clean job. So much as the most minor of beasts and daemons had their share of messes to deal with, everyone (un)lucky enough to face any quickly figured that out. There was always scratches, cuts, bruises, roughing around in the dirt where the creatures lied. Whatever one was encountered, you’d never escape the way you faced them.

That said, of course, going out into the woods in the dead of night to hunt down a daemonic Jumbo Flan bent solely on crushing any opponents to death was a great way to make the mess of a lifetime. One simple warp strike from Noctis quickly made this abundantly clear, chunks of blue ooze flying out and staining his Engine Blade and parts of his body.

“Just what I needed tonight,” Noctis sighed unhappily, at the last minute deflecting another strike from the gelatinous daemon’s arm extension. “A little help here?”

“Happy to oblige,” Ignis responded, using a fire-based Enhancement to power Noctis up a lot better.

“I owe ya, Specs.” Noctis ran to dodge another crushing jump from the Jumbo Flan, also wanting to find a better angle to strike from. “How’re you guys holding up?”

“Not much differently from you over there!” Gladio grunted, using a Dawnhammer strike down upon the creature’s head. He pulled out his greatsword, not caring that it was covered in a blue substance and continuing to move and strike it. “‘Case you haven’t noticed, this thing isn't dead yet!”

“I think it’s close to being on its last legs, at least!” Prompto interjected, firing his pistol ammo repeatedly at the target. “Lightning, you doing alright?”

“About as good as it’s gonna get!” Lightning shouted back, using her special Blitz technique to get a wider range of damage with her gunblade’s sword mode. “No one’s resting until this thing’s down!”

“Goes without saying, new girl!” Gladio exclaimed, seeing the Jumbo Flan about to attack Noctis and prevented by doing so by the King’s Shield successfully guarding him from the gooey arm being slammed down on either of them. “I’ve got your back, Noct! But, don’t forget to watch it at the same time!”

“Will do!” Noctis took out a flask containing magic he knew would be able to burn and shock the Jumbo Flan out of existence, silently thanking Ignis’ aid from earlier while it still had time to last him. “This oughta do the trick—!”

Before he had the chance to use it, the daemon knocked it clean from his hands in one swipe. Noctis picked himself up from falling on the ground as soon as it happened, but was too late to grab his flask as it soared across the open and landed in Lightning’s grasp. It thankfully hadn’t gone off on contact, but the woman who caught it only had a fairly basic idea on such a foreign type of magic use involving it. Unknown caution wasn’t the only thing Lightning wound up throwing to the wind. She immediately tossed the dualcasting flask right at the enemy with precision that could give Prompto himself a run for his money, but in doing so burned and near-electrocuted a little more than the Jumbo Flan they were all hunting.

Within agonizing seconds, the intense flames followed by unforgiving shockwaves did their damage to the close-in-proximity team. It’d successfully vanquished the daemon they’d been hunting, but everyone found themselves either screaming in pain or frenzying from aftershocks trying to get rid of the consequences dealt to them. Afterwards, the only remnants of the double spell to name were ruined hair and black char marks coating flesh and clothes alike.

“…That settles that,” Lightning coughed, patting the flames away from singed pink locks. She noticed the Jumbo Flan dissolved into a dark ooze and disappear rather than stay only in an expected form of a blue puddle. “Huh. Can’t say I’ve ever seen a flan like that before.”

“Just like I can’t say I’ve ever seen anyone that reckless playing with fire,” Noctis scolded, the last small flame dying out and leaving a ruined patch on his sleeve. “You realize we could have all _died_ there, right, Lightning?”

“Would you rather I didn’t throw it and risk us getting our heads served to us fresh on a platter, Your Highness? Be grateful we even beat it.”

“I’m not saying I’m not, but what I am saying is to aim more for the daemon, and less for the ones trying to beat it.”

“Maybe if you stuck to a more practical way of using Fire and Thunder, then this wouldn’t be a problem. What I don’t get is how it even affected us.” Lightning personally was more used to outright conjuring her magic from herself for ease reasons back when she first had to fight to live. Whoever came up with the idea to stuff it all into a little black orb of confusion that no longer only harmed its target really should have thought things through better, she annoyedly believed.

“Weird. It’s almost like fire is hot to touch and electricity shocks us. I know, I’m as surprised as you are.” Noctis was being entirely sarcastic, something which was clear Lightning couldn’t have cared less for anyways.

“Alright, break it up, kids,” Gladio intervened, forcing the prince and former soldier to end their little argument. “The thing’s dead, so get your asses over it and move on.”

“For once, I’m with Gladio here,” Prompto winced, picking off a dried goo slab off his temple. “I don’t know if you guys could say the same, but I could use me a well-earned bath.”

“It would be best to check into the nearest inn for the night while we clean ourselves up,” Ignis agreed, cleaning off any mess from his stained lenses. “Here’s to hoping we can find one that’s affordable, but in equally high quality.”

“So much for a nice campout under the stars,” Gladio sighed, letting out a disappointed scoff. “We’re a little more well-done than anyone’d like, but a little ooze never hurt anybody.”

“It’s only for one night’s stay, Gladio. We’ll bathe, get a good night’s rest, then be well on our way come morning.”

“Assuming these two don’t kill each other by then.” Gladio peeked over at Lightning picking up the empty flask from the ground, tossing it back to an eye-rolling Noctis who otherwise thanked her for the gesture before going to ignore her as best as he could again. “I seriously don’t get what those two’s problem is with each other. And it’s a lot more besides a little magic hiccup.”

“Who’s to say? All we can do is hope Noct and Lightning come around enough eventually and don’t surpass basic civility as mandatory teammates.”

“In the meantime, let’s hit the road!” Prompto chirped, pointing towards the Regalia’s parking spot. “I heard near here, there’s a new bathhouse with my name on it! Come on? What are we waiting for?”

Both at and pardoning Prompto’s hasty insistence, the weary quintet made their return to the car, everyone getting seated and taking off towards where they knew a good enough inn was without going too far. Noctis took the wheel in getting everyone there, allowing him to focus more on the road and cool off somewhat from the events of what’d just went down. They eventually made it to the inn after a somewhat lengthy drive, finding themselves at the nearby area just a little outside of Leide where they wanted to be.

Checking in had been a tad awkward when it’s five people covered in blue daemon goop also finely charred, but using Ignis’ expert negotiation skills (plus a bit of flirting from Gladio may have helped, but that was well after the fact even though the front desk person was thoroughly won over) helped everyone settle into their stay. The first order of business was getting themselves cleaned up after the messy job they’d just finished taking up. Whatever they needed to deal with could wait until early in the morning; hygiene and duty were in no way to be pitted against each other competitively.

“I’ll be seeing you four after I’m done,” Lightning told them, now wearing only a white towel around her body and a smaller one for her head. “You said we’re all meeting together in the sauna, right?”

“That would be correct,” Ignis answered, confirming what was agreed on before. “Do take as much time as you need getting yourself properly washed up, Lightning. It is the reason we all came here.”

“Kind of a shame the five of us can’t bathe and get to know you more, but it’s probably for the best,” Prompto sighed, disappointed at having to wait to speak more with Lightning.

“After the day we’ve all had, the lady at least deserves her privacy,” Gladio pointed out, playfully slapping Prompto on the back and getting a yelp from the group’s youngest. “‘Sides, nothing wrong with being stuck with your good friend Gladio, huh?”

“Eeyup. Nothing beats that, Big Guy.” Prompto saw Noctis already make his way into the bathhouse with Ignis after having said nothing to their newest member, frowning at his slight aversion to her. “So, we’ll see you on the other side, Lightning! Don’t wait up now!”

“Just— ‘Light’ is fine,” Lightning insisted before Prompto left with Gladio, the blond’s pleased thumbs up telling her the words were heard. She gave an almost quizzical glance back, turning and leaving for the women’s bath seconds following.

* * *

Inside of the men’s half of the divided bathhouse, the four bare Lucians were much more relaxed now that they were able to wash themselves free of marks and gunk that built up from the relentless forces of combat. The heated temperatures of the soothing water all four of them sat in aided in making for a peaceful environment, even with Prompto snaking around in it like a hungry shark making dramatic music.

“Dude,” Noctis cut in, knowing fully well what his best friend intended to do. Again, did the so-called music continue followed by another pause. “Prompto.” It continued, this time increasing in speed and volume as the prince’s tone went ignored. “Dude, come on! It’s late, of all the times—!”

“DUN-UUUH!” Prompto interjected, half-leaping at Noctis laughing after he stopped making dramatic music. The Insomnian heir only seemed mildly vexed, but found himself chuckling alongside his friend while playfully shoving him off. “Element of surprise, Noct!”

“Not really much of a ‘surprise’ when you’re humming man-eating shark music.” A bit of water went puckishly slapped at Prompto by Noctis as revenge for jumping at him, the former trying to retaliate fruitlessly while the latter only shielded himself. “Come on, knock it off!”

“Need I remind you both that this is a public bathhouse and not a pool?” Ignis interrupted, not needing his laid down glasses to be able to tell the two youngest boys’ tomfoolery when he sensed it. “It’d be an utter shame to get ourselves kicked out before the night comes close to its end.”

“Lighten up, Specs, we’re getting clean,” Noctis reassured him, fixing the towel on his head after it astoundingly survived Prompto’s playful attack. “There’s no wrong way to bathe, is there?”

“You’d be quite surprised on that one, Noct. Especially considering what plenty of people have done in public bathhouses.”

“It’s just us four, so what could go wrong?” Prompto asked rhetorically, catching himself on the exact accuracy of the sentence. “Well, five, counting our newest addition. Speaking of which.” He leaned over to the wall, knowing the women’s bath was on the other side and hoping nobody else was there and caused him to greatly embarrass himself. “How are you doing on the other side, new girl?! Everything okay?”

“She can’t hear you, doofus; the dividing wall’s solid concrete,” Gladio told him, knocking on the hardened barrier. “And I’m sure Light’s fine. She’s just as tough as the rest of us.” He glanced once at Prompto and Noctis, cockily leaning his back against the tub rim with his arms behind his head. “Well, half of us, anyways.”

“Why, I never!” Prompto let out a scoff, slipping into an almost Cindy-like accent at the fake offense before resuming his normal tone. “All I wanna know is whether or not she’s, like… what’s the word? ‘Feeling it’! With us, that is.”

“Right now, I’m feeling a bit of a warm spot,” Ignis pointed out, noticing a sudden increase in temperature. “…Actually, make that a very warm spot.”

“Is someone messing with the pipes?” Noctis wondered, also detecting a change.

“Who knows? I like it!” Gladio boasted, leaning against the faucet shrugging. “Nothing says ‘nice bath’ like testing the hot water limits.”

“Yeah, for a lobster,” Prompto snorted, striding over to Noctis’ side thinking of something. “So, Noct! While we’re kinda still on the topic, what do you think?”

“Of?” Noctis questioned, rubbing away a smudge planted on his small bicep.

“Of Light! You know, as a girl~.” Prompto’s slightly suggestive tone and wiggling of damp yellow brows immediately let Noctis know what kind of question it was, the prince internally scoffing at the notion.

“She certainly is one, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No, no! You know what I mean! Gimme a real answer, dude. And be honest!”

“Persistent tonight, aren’t we, Prompto? Fine…” Noctis thought a little bit on the question, scrounging for whatever scarce responses he could tell his best friend. He didn’t feel anything in particular, but none of it was too negative to instill anything strong in that way either. “Well, Lightning… is an okay enough teammate and really shows her work. I can see why Cor picked her to come with us, but I don’t know what else you want me to say about her.”

“Maybe more on the fact of just how strong she is? How smart she is? The fact that she also looks like an absolute pink goddess?!” Now Prompto found himself getting a bit too carried away about what he knew of Lightning, snapping back enough to focus on the interrogation at hand. “Things like that!”

“Well, she’s strong and pretty smart when not mishandling a little magic flask. I’ll give her those at least, but she’s here to do her job until we reach Altissia, and that’s that.” Noctis could see the disappointed feeling in Prompto’s eyes, feeling a little bad but knowing there was nothing he could do to help it. “Sorry, that’s all I really care to say about her. End of story.”

Prompto nudged Noctis with a bare elbow, prodding more into a fruitful possibility. “Then make room for the epilogue and give the lady a chance! For all you know, you and Light might have plenty in common if you got to know her some!”

“Why is it I seriously doubt that?”

“Because you’re not trying hard enough?”

“Yeah, well, right now I’m _trying_ to have myself a nice bath. So, if you don’t mind, I’ll do just that tonight…” Noctis sank a little more into the water, the towel on his head sitting as idly as he was sighing.

Prompto shrugged, giving up on it for the time being since he’d only be putting himself in a time loop of vague indifference. “Alright, dude. You do you, and I’ll do me—” He tried sinking into the water like his best friend, only to shoot up in pain when he realized the water exceeded its comfort zone into nigh-boiling temperatures. “—Trying not to get cooked like a lobster! Is that you doing that, Big Guy?!”

“Could be,” Gladio snickered, blatantly turning the faucet to add more scalding water to the tub. “Can’t take the heat, get out of the bath. Just like the old saying goes.”

“Then my old saying goes ‘turn down the damn water before we get boiled alive taking a bath’!” Noctis butted in, joining Prompto in fighting for control over the faucet, made difficult by Gladio’s strength easily keeping them away despite their persistent struggle. “Come on! You’re making it way too hot!”

“What’s that? ‘Make it way too hot’? If you say so, Princess!” Knowing full well Noctis said the exact opposite, Gladio kept at cranking the heat up to the younger two’s discomfort.

Ignis for the most part endured the other three’s squabble with a grain of salt, only to opt for getting up and concluding his bath early when the water levels got too scalding even for him. Fixing his glasses over his eyes again, he mentally prayed to any Astral willing to comply that the bath would survive the night, nevermind his dear brothers-in-arms causing a scene. Contrary to what Gladio believed earlier, on the other side in the otherwise vacant women’s bath was Lightning, who’d barely finished cleaning her body when she found herself grimacing at the noise she could hear loud enough from her spot in the toasty water. Rolling her eyes, the physically 21-year old wrung out the dampness in her pink hair and rinsed off her body suds despite the commotion.

“Those guys are pretty damn rowdy, that’s for sure,” Lightning scoffed, sinking a little into the water trying to relax to her best ability. “Leave it to them to make even a bathhouse trip feeling long as Hell.”

* * *

Nobody thankfully got themselves banned from using the public bath in anymore possible future stays at the inn, but everyone agreed it was best to move onto the sauna as soon as possible. Unlike the bathhouse and showers, it was co-ed and enjoyable for all five of them altogether. Ignis had been waiting patiently for everyone else to finish so as to avoid overheating by himself in the room (how the other three boys were still willing to expose themselves to extra heat after Gladio nearly cooked them alive was honestly beyond him), but nonetheless was the first one in. Following him were the remaining three hailing from Lucis taking their seats in towels only, Lightning joining them last and taking a seat between Noctis and Prompto. The latter was more than eager on the matter, but the former only sighed apathetically.

“What? Does ‘His Highness’ have a problem with me sitting here?” Lightning asked in a scoff, giving Noctis her traditional flinty look.

“Nah,” Noctis responded without lying. “Do what you want; I’m no one to stop you.”

“Good to hear, because I have no plans on moving.”

“Cool. Just sit there and let us both sweat in peace.”

Prompto had to hand it to Noctis in some way. Though he knew the prince not to be the type to feel any physical concern towards the opposite sex too easily (unless it was a certain Tenebraen Oracle he’d been close to for a good decade), he for one felt his stomach doing leaps for gold just by sitting next to such a fine, almost ethereally beautiful young woman in only her towel. It was more out of basic nervousness than anything too extreme, but no one was leaving the sauna after only a few short seconds of sitting, so he was gonna make do while the time was ripe. Clearing his throat, he earned himself a raised eyebrow from Lightning, sheepishly picking up from it so as not to look like a weirdo to the new girl and make the moment good.

“So! Lightning— I mean, Light! You, uhh, feeling it?” was what came out of Prompto’s mouth, immediately regretting it by the skeptical look on the girl’s face.

“Excuse me?” Lightning interrogated.

“No, I didn’t mean anything dirty or whatever by it! What I do mean is… how are you feeling? Right now.”

“Warm and sweaty. How else am I supposed to feel in a sauna?”

“He’s asking whether or not you feel more incorporated among us all,” Ignis translated. “And since the question is at hand, how are you feeling so far on the mission with us, if I might also ask?”

“Oh. In that case, I can’t complain too much. There’s still a _lot_ about this place I need to get used to, but that shouldn’t get in my way too much.” Lightning glanced at Noctis, who wasn’t so much as making eye contact with her, but not out of malice or spite. “I think the prince over here might still be more steamed about your weird flasks than he is in the sauna.”

“I’m over it,” Noctis corrected. “I just think you shouldn’t forget magic’s not a toy is all.”

“Believe me, I’ve used more than my share of spells, for your information. My question is how you can make some kind of bomb out of it that easy.”

“You can use the flask to draw out elemental veins whenever we make a pit stop,” Gladio explained. “Noct here gets what he needs from certain spots, and like that, we’ve got our magic for the time being.”

“Think of it as sorta like… magical apple-picking,” Prompto pointed out. “You can also put together different spells in the same flask to get something really cool!”

“At the same time?” Lightning inquired, getting nods from all except Noctis. “I’ve never heard of that until now. I’m more used to doing magic one at a time. …And magic that doesn’t affect more than just the target.”

“Why wouldn’t it?” Gladio wondered, unsure of what Lightning meant. “You get caught in a Fire spell gone wrong, you burn. Caught in a Blizzard spell, then you freeze your ass off. That’s common physics there, Sarge.”

“Where was it you said you were from, Lightning?” Ignis inquired, a tad suspicious. “You’ve said it wasn’t a place anywhere near here, but even the most faraway of areas are fully aware of proper magic use.”

“Somewhere you’re definitely not familiar with,” was the only answer Lightning had to give. “That’s all you need to know, so leave it there.”

“Oh, now, don’t be so shy, Light!” Prompto insisted. “We wanna get to know you better, so at least give us a little hint! How else are we gonna learn anything?”

“There’s only so much info you need for me to tell you all about. For now, just leave it at me not being from where any of you are and end it there—”

In the middle of speaking, Lightning felt a sudden weight fall upon her shoulder. Coming back down from her talk did she look and realized Noctis hadn’t just fallen asleep (no surprise there, and that was disregarding how cozy the sauna must have felt to him), but chosen the side of her body as the unfortunate cushion to sustain his exposed top half. Pale blue eyes rolled at the prince’s apparent narcolepsy, trying to shove him off of her to no avail. How in Etro’s name did he suddenly feel heavier when asleep? Or was she seriously underestimating the power of tired royalty that didn’t want to wake up too soon?

“Time and place!” Lightning groused, repeatedly batting her palm against Noctis’ face, getting no reaction from him. “Wake up, will you?” He only muttered in his sleep and slouched more against her unknowingly, Lightning shoving him upwards. “Noctis! That’s enough.”

Unfortunately for Lightning, Noctis only sat upright for a second or two before descending upon her lap and slumbering even harder, if possible. Groaning, she found herself unable to move as freely with the unwanted extra person using her as a human pillow for a poorly-timed nap. She only looked up at the sound of a few camera shutters going off, glaring at Prompto now having some brand new embarrassing photos to hold against his friend later. Gladio was equally amused and openly snickering; even Ignis seemed to be almost smirking behind the side of his fist covering the creased up corners of his mouth.

“I’m not finding this to be anything like a joke, so quit laughing,” Lightning scolded the other three. “How do you guys wake him up?”

“Rather bold of you to assume it’s easy for us to awaken Noct after he’s fallen asleep,” Ignis pointed out, the look on his face unchanged. “Not even the worst of tremors nevermind an alarm clock could get him up and ready to start the day early.”

“Or a huge thunderstorm,” Prompto added, recalling his time in high school with Noctis. “I asked him if he heard it when we got to school that day and he didn’t even have a clue it happened until after I brought it up!”

“Point being, he ain’t waking up anytime soon, so looks like you’re stuck with him like that until he actually does,” Gladio teased. “Besides, this is the closest I’ve seen you two together, gotta say.”

“Not on my watch, it’s not,” Lightning protested, standing up with her towel gripped in one hand while the other hefted Noctis over her shoulder like a giant flour sack. “I’m not sitting here acting like His Highness’ royal throw pillow instead of finishing up my hard-earned bath.”

“And how do you think you’re gonna somehow wake him up?”

“Easy. I’m hitting the showers early.”

Saying nothing else, Lightning carried Noctis out of the sauna room and headed towards where the individual showers were. The towel around his waist seemed halfway tempted into slipping from its host and revealing the indecency underneath, but it was ultimately kept more up by the more free of Lightning’s back wrists. Not caring for the moment that she was trespassing in the men’s shower room, she propped Noctis up so he leaned against the wall. He started to roll and slump to the side, but she caught him in time and readjusted him to her liking.

“There we go,” Lightning decided, brushing her hands off and turning to make her leave. “Simple and— CLEAN!” The victory proved short-lived when Noctis— still in a deep sleep— fell forward and pinned the woman chest-first to the ground. _‘You can’t be serious right now. How is he sleeping through this?!’_

Lightning practically slammed Noctis against the shower wall, giving up on having him stand and letting him at least sit upright on the damp shower floor only prevented from touching the rear by the prince’s complementary towel. _Close enough_ , she decided. Turning the shower head towards Noctis’ face and on came the water, spraying him directly in the area at the same time Lightning turned and left for her own shower.

“Hnn…? Morning already?” Noctis yawned, only a bit mildly disoriented when the shower’s rain made him come to. He wiped the water from his face, turning off the water after standing up and looking at where he was by himself. _‘Guess I’m some kind of sleepwalker because I have no idea how I just got here.’_

“Oh, look, Sleeping Beauty’s finally awake,” he heard Gladio’s voice pipe in, Noctis turning and seeing his other three friends enter the shower for their cooldown session together. “Guess Light did the almost-impossible after all.”

“She wasn’t in here. Was she?”

“Did you think you simply waltzed right in here on your own?” Ignis inquired, taking Noctis’ soggy, damp towel and hanging it somewhere to dry enough rather than have it interfere with a proper shower. “A lot of things you could be, but a somnambulist isn’t one of them, I’m afraid.”

“But, what you _are_ is an affectionate sleeper, apparently,” Prompto teased, waggling his camera full of promising new snapshots. “Wanna see? You looked cute as a kitten all curled up on Light’s lap!”

“The Hell are you talking about…?” Noctis breathed, not understanding at all what was going on.

“Why don’t you come over and see, mi compadre? Managed to get a few before you woke up.”

Noctis did as suggested and couldn’t believe his eyes. There he was in the photographs clear on Prompto’s beloved camera; sleeping, yes, but right on _Lightning’s shoulder_?! How in the Six did that happen? He would never! Consecutive pictures only made the prince’s cheeks burn redder, now being shown proof that he’d migrated his way to lying in her lap to her understandable chagrin. He glared at his snickering blond friend, figuring him to be the definite mastermind behind such humiliating snapshots.

“To think I was worried you’d never give Light a chance too!” Prompto laughed. “So happy I was wrong for once!”

“Not funny, Prompto,” Noctis growled, the embarrassed red not letting up even slightly. “You had to have set me up like that. I just know it!”

“Who, me? Couldn’t be! So, it wasn’t.”

“Then who if you say you didn’t? One of you two? Low blow, I gotta say.” Noctis pointed his accusatory finger at Gladio and Ignis, thinking them to be some degree of the culprit if not accomplices.

“More like you did it to yourself, Lover Boy,” Gladio broke it to him bluntly, still finding the situation amusing. “Next time, try not taking a nap in the sauna and this wouldn’t be a problem.”

“And it isn’t as though no efforts were made to awaken you. Light certainly tried, but you simply wouldn’t budge, as usual,” Ignis informed him, feeling a need to subtly tease Noctis on the matter without making it a bigger deal than it ought to be. The rather complacent look hidden in his eyes further said it all, as the flustered prince could tell by examining them. “At the very least, you did look awfully comfortable resting on her. Really a shame she didn’t agree with the notion.”

He’d long stopped looking at the photos that he severely doubted Prompto was going to get rid of anytime soon, but nothing could quell the mortification Noctis felt. Not so much at falling asleep in public; there were very few “wrong” places to nap, but in this case, on the new teammate certainly fit the qualifications for being less than ideal of a rest area. Turning off the shower and grabbing his dewy towel, Noctis excused himself out of the room, wondering if he’d stuck his head long enough in the bath that it’d drown out at least the moment’s shame.

The attempt went unsuccessful, many thanks to the immediate intervention of Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio all grabbing Noctis and pulling him back into the shower room until everyone was done. _So much for that_ , the Lucian heir sighed in his thoughts. At that rate, the only thing to do was cool himself off under the refreshing streams of the shower and hope it’d be enough to wash away all he found burdensome from recent hours.

* * *

“So, how’s this gonna work?” Gladio asked later that night in the hotel room, everyone dressed more or less to sleep. “Two beds and five people doesn’t add up.”

“That means one of us has to rest on the sofa for tonight,” Ignis concluded, gesturing to the cushioned loveseat in the corner of the room near the window.

“I’ll do it,” Lightning volunteered without any hint of reluctance in her voice. “Sitting in a sauna with you guys is one thing; it’s another to sleep in the same bed with one of you.”

“Wait a second, Light!” Prompto objected, stopping the woman from setting up shop on the person-sized sofa. “I’m sure it’s not too shabby, but a bed would be a lot more comfy, don’t you think?”

“Trust me, I’ll live. I’ve dealt with worse than sleeping on a sofa. Besides, it’s only for tonight since we’re leaving tomorrow.”

“Still, a lady deserves a good night’s sleep on a nice mattress. Tell you what; you and I can switch places for the stay so you can get some shut-eye.”

“You don’t have to do that, Prompto. I’m sleeping on a sofa, not in a spiked coffin.”

“I know I don’t, but I insist! Though…” Prompto glanced at the bed he almost slept in, occupied by one other person. “Looks like you’re gonna have to bunk with Noct for tonight.”

“What?!” Noctis and Lightning snapped in unison, exchanging a glance when they realized they’d spoken at the same time before turning away just as quickly.

“There is no way I’m bunking with him,” Lightning argued, moving Prompto aside to put her things on the sofa. “You’re free to, but I’ve had enough of being used as His Highness’ headrest.”

“Aww, Lightning, it won’t be so bad!” Prompto insisted, still preventing her from moving onto the cushions. “You already know he sleeps like a rock, so it’s almost like you’ve got an entire bed to yourself. Or, more like _half_ the bed since there’s still someone else sleeping in it.”

“Just do whatever you want. I just wanna get some sleep,” Noctis yawned at Lightning, already turning over and getting cozy under the sheets. “Your choice, Farron.”

Sneering at Noctis’ apathy, Lightning’s tired mind and body wound up giving into the plush mattress’ rampant seduction. She went over and dropped her stuff and herself on the side of the bed closest to the door, pulling her share of the covers forward for warmth. Prompto seemed pleased at her choice, making himself as comfy as he could on the hotel sofa and adjusting properly to rest well for the next day.

“I don’t want anymore sudden tricks after earlier, Prince,” Lightning warned Noctis, their backs still to each other but her arm reaching behind her to point to him sternly. “You stay on your side, and I’ll happily stay on mine.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice,” Noctis responded indifferently, stirring a bit so he could get cozy on his half of the bed after the room lights went off. “Night, guys.”

Everyone exchanged their brief goodnight biddings and drifted asleep one by one. Lightning felt the covers slip off her body in her sleep, groaning irritably and reaching back so she could steal them again. In doing so, however, the blankets got caught in the middle courtesy of Noctis gripping them without the willingness to give up even a portion. Both bedmates snarled at a low volume, engaging in a sleepy tug-of-war for nighttime warmth until Lightning proved victorious and balled herself up in her prize.

Though just as tired, Noctis refused to lay idly by and freeze to death in his coveted sleep. Gripping a section of blankets, he yanked them forward to cover himself, Lightning rolling over and into his back in the process. She felt far too tired to fight anymore, going as far as reaching her arm over in a way she believed was grabbing the blanket rim to safeguard it from her opponent. Drifting off further into slumber’s embrace, Noctis and Lightning only shifted slightly and put themselves into positions they weren’t consciously aware of, finding just the right way for both of them to sleep the hours away until the day’s and everyone’s wake.

* * *

Incoherently heard the next morning were voices muffled by the prince and ex-soldier’s slumbers. Noctis being too far gone to so much as blink his eyes open, Lightning was the one to step closer to the land of the living. She wasn’t fully awake yet, but could pick up on the words being said around them by their teammates.

“Now isn’t that cute? They look so comfy together,” Gladio snorted, shaking and batting Noctis to resuscitate him for the day. “Rise and shine, Princess. Might wanna take a good look at yourself, by the way.”

“Five more minutes…” Noctis snored, hugging whatever was in his arms close to his chest.

“Let go of me…” Lightning yawned, reaching to rub her eyes when it hit her. “What the…?”

“I’ll be up soon, just gimme—” It hit Noctis too, realizing his embrace snatched a pair of forearms. For once, he snapped awake, looking down at what he was cuddling then turning around stunned as reality set in for him too.

As it turned out, not only did Noctis use Lightning’s arms as a makeshift teddy bear the entire night with her chin on one of his shoulders, but the pink-haired woman herself had said limbs hanging over and under his torso’s side and her right leg arched over his hips in a messy, almost-spooning position neither of them consciously put themselves in. They didn’t even look at each other for a full second before jumping away and scrambling out of the bed as if caught in a scandalous pose together. Both of their cheeks flushed with embarrassment, Lightning gathering her cleaned day clothes and running into the bathroom for privacy while Noctis opted for hurriedly dressing in one of the room corners.

“Why the sudden morning rush, Noct?” Gladio asked derisively, knowing full well what’d gotten the prince’s goat.

“Shut up, you know why,” Noctis growled, agitated while throwing the rest of his outfit on before fighting with his socks and boots.

“Hey, we didn’t say anything,” Prompto joked. “Just that you and Light looked even cozier together than in the sauna. And she fell asleep on you back, too!”

“I don’t wanna hear it. Let’s hit the road already.”

Lightning came out fully dressed and ready to leave, but in one swift motion without stopping did she grab her belongings and rush out the room to meet everyone at the Regalia outside. The boys all followed after, Noctis in no more of a hurry than his friends so he wouldn’t have to face Lightning after that (and that was pardoning his hopes of not sitting next to her in the car either). En route to the front desk for checkout, Noctis swore he saw Ignis secretly glance at him every now and again, the notion more or less confirmed when he spoke after it was mostly the two of them in earshot.

“There’s a chance last night’s incidents wouldn’t have seemed so awful if you’d warmed up a bit towards Lightning,” Ignis suggested. “I’m in no way forcing you into anything, but were you to give her more of a chance, I’d say you two could get along better. Perhaps you might even come to fancy her.”

“Me? Like _her_? Get real, Ignis,” Noctis scoffed, looking at Lightning in the short distance and believing the thought even less. “I’ll deal with having her as an extra teammate, but that’s where I’m drawing the line.”

“Very well then. A word of caution, though, Noct?”

“Sure, what?”

Ignis’ mouth turned up to a smirk, his matching tone solidifying for Noctis which side his advisor friend was on. “Do try not to _sleep_ too much on the idea. I think you may have done plenty of that in recent hours.”

The minute he’d said that and went off to manage checking everyone out of the hotel like nothing had happened, Noctis in further chagrined disbelief realized what the absolute worst thing about betrayal was:

It never did come from your enemies.

**Author's Note:**

> (Fun fact: the "sleeping through a thunderstorm" thing Prompto mentions actually happened IRL. ...With me being Noct.)
> 
> When I wrote this, I had no clue the whole "sharing a bed" trope was so darn popular and made people go feral until my sister told me lol. Either way, I'm glad it's so well-liked and me being in bed myself gave me the idea on ending it like that.
> 
> Oh, and another thing, the XIII trilogy's fighting mechanics are a LOT different than XV's, so expect Light to have some trouble adjusting to them at first. Being in a new, more modern time era/dimension calls for some major things to learn. She'll get the hang of it eventually, but it's fun to watch her learn. With that, tune in for the next oneshot I wrote for Versus XV and others that come with it! ♥


End file.
